1 October 2015
It’s difficult for me to find the words I want to say to you as I sit down to compose this letter, but I’m determined to do so. It’s best for you to know how you made me feel these past weeks. You’ve caused me to have doubts about my passion for writing. You’ve flooded my thoughts with insecurities about my talent. I’ve procrastinated putting off working on projects, participating in various writing groups, and doing writing assignments that could bring out the best in my creativity. To make matters worse, you’ve caused me to seriously contemplate stop writing on several occasions. When that last thought crossed my mind, I decided enough was enough.
I’m getting tired of riding this emotional roller coaster with you. I can rant about all the things you’ve done to make me feel miserable, to think negative thoughts, and to wallow in self-pity, but I’m not going to anymore. I’ve surrendered so much wasted power and energy to you in the past. I’m declaring my power over you by choosing to think, to speak, and to bring positivity into my passion. I may not be where I desire to be as a writer and an author, but I’m comfortable with who I am and the person I’m becoming.
I want to thank you for the lessons learned, the understanding acquired, the strength developed, and the courage created to push you aside despite the things you did to interfere with my creativity. On the days where you kept telling me “It’s okay not to write, Bill,” I wrote anyway. You would whisper in my ear, “You’re not making any progress,” and “You won’t find the words to say anything,” I kept writing. Every obstacle you attempted to place in my way, I overcame by reminding myself, “I am a writer and this is what I was born to do.” I’m grateful you made me rediscover and reaffirm my self-confidence to know that every word I write is not and will never be a wasted effort.
Goodbye, fear, because you will no longer steal my joy to write anymore. You can take all of your negative relatives with you, go kick rocks, and play in traffic.