The following is an unedited excerpt from my forthcoming memoir In The End that will be released later this year. It’s appropriate since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, I wanted to share my thoughts with you. Some singles get caught up feeling alone tomorrow, and believe me I’ve been there, too. Last week, my friend Yonder, author of What I Do Is Taboo, posted a comment on Facebook asking the question, “Does Valentine’s Day mean anything to you?” I responded that it was another day in the year since I hadn’t celebrated it with someone special in 6 years, but commented on the subject in the following excerpt below from In The End. Hope you enjoy!
Take care and be blessed.
14 February 2007
Thank You for allowing me to witness the sunrise of another blessed and beautiful day. I’m happy that my work day has come to an end because I’m exhausted. I can’t wait to get home and unwind. Sometimes I don’t know how I make it through the workplace in one piece, but I’m grateful and blessed to have a job. Yes, indeed. I’m not sure what my employment status will be with so many rumors and speculations circulating, but that is the least of my worries. I’ve been down this road before and I’m faithful and confident everything will be fine. You’ve never closed one door in my life without opening another.
I would like to say a prayer, God, for every living creature on this planet. I would like to say a special prayer, God, for myself because I am in need of Your Holy Spirit. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me and I allow negativity – anger, fear, envy, resentment – to creep into my thoughts. Please forgive me for anything that crossed my mind and/or emerged from my lips that were disrespectful to myself and You, my Savior. Fortunately, You blessed me with common sense to keep my mouth shut and to not carry out those actions. I do make mistakes and it’s not easy to practice what I preach. All I ask of You is to please bless me with the wisdom to learn and to grow so I can conduct myself better as a person.
Well, Lord, today is Valentine’s Day and I’m not upset about being single. I don’t feel lonely either because I’m not alone. I’m happy with the person I am today. It took me a long time to realize the value and importance of self worth. Actually, the best present I gave myself was a healthy dose of positive affirmations. Hmmm, I think I need to review that list again on those days when I’m feeling down. I remember what I experienced last year that dampened my spirits and caused me to lose faith in You and myself, but there’s no need to dwell upon the past. You’ve been so good to me and I’m grateful for all of Your wonderful blessings in my life. I’m happy I reconnected with You, Lord, last summer because I felt so miserable. The best part of the entire experience was to discover that You hadn’t forsaken me. I can’t begin to describe how enthusiastic it is to feel Your unconditional love. Although I still have a long way to go, I’m blessed to recognize how much I’m cared for by You and my loved ones. Most importantly, I’m blessed to realize I do care about my well being and it is so magnificent to be alive and breathing. Sometimes life may have its twists and turns, but everything will fall into its proper place and perspective according to Your will. I’m patient when it comes to having someone special come into my life and we’ll be able to love each other with mutual respect, trust, and honesty. For today, I’m content to share my love with You and my loved ones.
In Jesus’ precious name I pray for thanksgiving. Amen.